THIS IS ME

I’m under so much pressure 
 None to hear me out  
 I’m always under cover
 No one figures this out   

I try so hard 
Just to be myself   
“Will anything ever workout?”
 “Not even a bit”, I often say to myself   

Why can’t I be myself?
 With some space just to be
 Why can’t I be left alone?   
 Till I’m ready to BE! 

I’m tired of being told 
 The same things every time
 I wanna be unique  
 I wanna be ME! 

I wanna live my life
 The way I want it to be 
 ‘cause this is me
 And I'm whom I’m meant to be!  

With all those tiny mistakes
 I’m always at stake
 Aggression seeps into me 
 None to help me be awake  

I want people to accept me
 Not just tell me what’s not right 
 Why should I be better than anyone else?  
 After all, it’s just me, alright! 

The feeling of loneliness
 Strikes me at every corner 
 I wish for some warmth
 To unleash my power  

I’ll show what I’m made of
 Even if you pull me down 
 For I know who I am 
 Better than anyone else for sure 

I’ll try and try no matter what
 Even if you get in my way 
 I won’t give up this thought 
 Till it’s a reality some day 

Beauty doesn’t lie in the face
 It really lives in the inner space 
 Speaking the truth in any case 
 Yes, that’s my attitude leaving you dazed 

I really don’t know how to lie
 To keep my head upright, I give up and cry 
 At times I’m so let down 
 Just being me is hard to know 

I’m caught up in expectations
 Causing continuous frustrations 
 Everyone wants the best for me 
 Can’t they stop even when I come down on my knees 

I scream as loud as I can
 Find it difficult to hold back now 
 I’m so messed up in my actions 
 Trying to deal with many reactions 

Tripping over my own feet 
 Struggling to figure out the best in me 
 This is my fight to not let myself down
 Not let idiots talk me out   

I’m lost and wounded
 Feels like I’m even blinded 
 By different stories of truth
 I really wonder where is MY truth!  

I may not know where to go
 But I do have a vision of tomorrow 
 I don’t know which path to choose 
 As I just don’t want to lose 

I do deserve some respect for being ME
 A voice for myself that speaks for me  
 I search for the internal light  
 To bring ME back to sight 

[This poem was submitted for the ‘This is Me’ Poetry Slam conducted by Tulika Books on May 9, 2019]